Life - an illusion

It was a bright day, sky a soft blue with puffy clouds skimming towards the horizon…a sunny Wednesday afternoon....and I and my friend were on our way to a trek in Wayand....I would vote this place as the most beautiful place on earth.... most serene........and ofcourse being a part of Kerala tops it with a plum...

We started off early and by now were hungry and decided that we would stop at the next available place to eat...As we drove through those long winding roads, I looked at those quiet houses,...none of the doors were closed. I managed to peek into some of those houses and got a glimpse of the backyard through the doors. Everything seemed so peaceful. Hardly anyone outside..................What would life be like for them? No tight schedules, no targets to meet, nobody in a rush to grab anything from others, relaxed and peaceful…………… was it always so peaceful?.....did they have no worries about life?......or was it an illusion…………an illusion that life is smooth and steady in the suburbs……I sat there fighting my thoughts as my friend drove……

We stopped at a small place for lunch….I felt like everyone were staring at us, as though two strange aliens had entered their territory uninvited….it was may be the way we were dressed or may be young girls and guys never went out together unless they were bond in some kind of relationship in these places….. Anyways not to get too far with that topic …….. I blocked it out…. And concentrated on the appam and mutta curry on my plate

How stupid a life we lead in city…always speeding on grabbing opportunities, competing with one another for every little thing, not that it is wrong…….but I could not stop wondering how relaxed and laid back was the life in these suburbs…My dreamy mind wished to be the woman I wanted to be when I was a kid …………. A Schoolteacher, like my Jayachechi and Achanpengal…to be a teacher in a small town. I remember those temple visits during my vacations, I would walk with Achanpengal admiring how popular she was, feeling so proud that everyone recognizes and greets her and I used to be happy that because I was with her, People knew me too….I would tag with Jayachechi to her school, Help her correct English answer sheets, because I couldn’t read Malayalam then.. ..and admired when her students came up to her and spoke to her with so much of love and respect….Life seemed to be so easy and nice to them …To me then, they were the perfect examples of women who balanced home and work so well….

As I grew up, things changed, my dreams changed, and somewhere at some point I started to run behind opportunities…. and I feel it's not just me…everyone of us are in the same path…..In our own ways we struggle to live….to be the best and to get the best out of life….. and in doing so, are we not missing the essence of life?.............at least I never live today, I only think of what tomorrow would look like and struggle to make it better, not realizing that I did not fully live today…......Probably, we were raised to be competitive. It's the upbringing……….. Right from when you are a kid; in school, be it academics or any other cultural activity, I was taught to be competitive. Never did my parents pressurize me to be the topper, but they always encouraged me to give my best, but over a period, I developed that impulse in me to fight for the best and get the best……… Now, in my job, Life, everywhere, I fight to exist, develop an identity…………….Find myself…..

…. For some reason the picture of the Train stations in Mumbai kept appearing in my mind, the crowd, the panic, the rush………………

We finished our lunch and started walking towards the car and heard a honk and saw an overloaded bus coming towards us, people hanging out of the bus, and before even I could attempt to picture what would happen even if one more person got into that bus….. . from nowhere there was a crowd running towards the bus to get in…... Suddenly that place did not seem serene anymore….people trying to push each other to get some space in the bus…bustling ….and then it struck me, In some way or the other we all tried to out-beat others and be the smart ones, those read and forgotten lines came rushing to my mind

" At the beach, when the tide is going out, the waves recede and it seems that nothing is happening in the sea.
But the truth is, the great swells are gathering strength beneath the waters, Building energy for the time that the tide will return..... "

As we drove past that village I thought Life sometimes shows a different picture-an illusion, Life is an Illusion at times…..